Friday, September 28, 2012

Why do good days have to turn bad?

Quick update on the Arthritis Walk: We are just one day away from the walk now, it's tomorrow morning - yay! We have received another $140! A huge thank you to ANNE and HAROLD!!!!

Last night was amazing! I went to the Valley Chords for the first time and it was just phenomenal....truly spectacular! I loved it :) So excited to start singing with them aaaaaaaaaaaand.....we get our Christmas music next week!!!! And you all know how I feel about Christmas hahaha :) I'll do a more in depth post on this really soon.

This morning was crazy, but I got a lot done before I went to class including decorating our cedar chest:

Then I went to my Communications class and guess what?? I got a 100% on my first quiz from last week!!! :D Exciting much? I think yes haha I've gotten all As this semester so far. Month One, check!

Tonight I went to my Global Issues class. We went on a "field trip" to the Valley News (our local newspaper). Very, very cool to see the newsroom and the huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge printer and everything lol. Our teacher was awesome tonight too, laid back and shared a ton of her experiences from being a journalist herself. I got back 4 papers, comments: Great!, ΓΌ +, A, and A+ Pretty cool, huh?? I have to say....I'm pretty proud of myself.

Then tonight....I was so happy....but then things got bad. My dad was supposed to be coming up on Saturday after the Arthritis Walk, we've been talking about this a couple days. Tonight he mentioned that the girlfriend was coming too. I told him, respectfully, no thank you. I don't condone his mistakes and I've met her, I've done what I was supposed to do and I didn't like her. But anyway, I have been trying to work with him to build back an already severely damaged relationship. He ended up calling me and doing a whole lot of blaming me. Apparently everything is my fault. "You don't want to see me very much if you won't see [girlfriend] too. You're driving a wedge between us. It's your fault we don't have a relationship. You're not allowed to talk to Joanny. You telling her all the lies you've told her (I haven't told any lies...) and lying to me too hurts our relationship. This is ALL your choice. You need to grow up, you're twenty-years-old, get over yourself and have a relationship with the only father you have. If you don't want to see her, you're choosing not to see me. It's your fault if you don't have me in your life." And on and on....and on....and on....I finally hung up on me because 1) I don't need to be treated like that, 2) I don't need to be yelled at, 3) I was shaking so bad, I thought I was going to drop the phone took me a long time to calm down from that. I fear that he won't be in my life anymore. That's a hard decision to make, but I don't deserve that.

Hard night. HATE those hard nights. They come every once in awhile now and just wipe me off my feet. Wish it didn't have to be this way.

I just want a big hug....

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