Tuesday, October 29, 2013


You know that feeling when everything seems to be going for too good for too long almost? You just feel it lol. I feel like I hit a high and then I know SOMETHING will come crumbling down on me. I've been trying to get my positive thinking better than before since before I kind of scoffed at that type of thinking....now I know there's something to be said about it.

Anyway, I try to reason with myself. In the grand scheme of things.....is this going to matter in a month? A year? 10 years? No, not really probably. There are millions of people in the world, don't let that ONE person get the best of you. They're not worth your time. Everything happens for a reason. Every little thing....is gonna be alright. Okay, so why doesn't it always help? Lol who knows....who knows!?
So I try to take deep breaths (it really does work!).....

immerse myself in a good book (currently reading a Julie Lessman. 'Nuff said.)....

and probably throw myself further into my Grey's obsession.

I admittedly love my Calzona girls :)

Basically at this stage in the game, I try to do anything other than eat because that's all I really want to do when I stress! Lol yes, old habits die hard. This week has certainly been one to write in the books and I'm struggling on keeping on my good eating train. But I'm trying, I'm not giving up, and I've accepted the fact that 60lbs is not going to just hop back onto my body in one week's time. 

Tonight has been an exceptionally emotionally tough night so I turned to YouTube of course. I think you've heard the story before of the Song for Sarajevo, but I'll summarize again. I was fortunate enough to sing it with Judy Collins at our local opera house in a children's chorus I sang in. I remember it moving me then and it still has to somehow be a favorite of mine because I find myself craving the dramatic, sweeping notes and heartbreaking lyrics. So I dug it out yet again for another time.

Anyway, at the end of the day, sometimes you just need something that's going to make you laugh. In that case, I visited Colleen Ballinger's YouTube site today and luckily....she did Colleen's Corner today! She's funny, gorgeous, plays Miranda Sings whom I adore. Love it. So enjoy :)

On that note.....good night!

Seriously though....don't tell me they don't make THE perfect little TV family <3 td="">

Saturday, October 19, 2013

Hello World!

Hello....hello? Anyone there?

Anyway, hello! I've decided to tiptoe back into blogging, shall we say? Not sure how it's going to go, but I have high hopes to start journaling of some sort again and honestly? Blogging is my all-time favorite way to journal. So here goes!

How the heck have you all been? It's been almost a year since I've even logged into my blog, looked at it at all, and even thought about it really. Occasionally it crossed my mind, but it's a sore spot. I'm so disappointed I let it go, but I wasn't feeling the creativity or passion for it that I had. Really that wasn't even the blog (sorry blog), it was all me, stuff I was going through. Now though, I think it's really important for me to get back to this :)

The blog needed a facelift, so I gave it one! She's looking pretty spiffy, if I do say so myself LOL I like the freshness of this new background. And....and.....AND I GOT THE BANNER CENTERED!!! The anal part of me is doing a super happy dance today baha.

So a whole year basically huh? Let's see.....what have been some highlights?
~ Gave my sister the best Christmas present ever - trip to NYC.....it was awesome!
~ Saw The Book of Mormon for my birthday (hysterical!) and Wicked this past August in Boston :)
~ Saw THE Sir Paul McCartney in July. Felt like I was seeing a legend, no regrets about the money.
~ Had some pretty serious elbow surgery about three months ago.
~ Graduated from CCV! I now have an official Associates Degree in Early Childhood Education!
~ Started at Granite State College, the next step to have my Bachelor's in both ECE and Early Special Education.

The biggest decision I've had this year was the recommitment to myself I made in February 2013. That was when I officially chose to take back control of my life and truly become the me I have always known I could be. I now know that I definitely owe myself that much. So I joined Weight Watchers, yes, I really did lol :P it's been the greatest roller coaster I've ever been on so far!

June 2012 - October 2013

January 2013 - August 2013
The numbers on the scale say I've lost just under 60lbs (maybe this is the week I'll hit it!) in the last eight months. In the last six months, I've shed over 40 inches from all over my body. I'm healthier, I'm definitely happier, I feel stronger, more capable, more confident. I feel like who I always thought I was and yet....wasn't. In January (right after that picture above was taken actually), my PCP gave me last chance hope to try to do something about my weight because I was basically already diabetic. However, I hadn't been offically diagnosed and I know the next time I saw her, my status would have changed. Now though, I'm happy to report that I am no longer even "At Risk" at all for diabetes! I am SO proud of that!!! My dad was diagnosed with diabetes a few years ago because he's overweight. He chooses to do nothing about it and I do mean nothing. He's to the point where he has feet problems and yet, he still doesn't even see a doctor about it. I am in control of me, I am in control of my health, I am in control of this body! I didn't want to be another statistic, so I changed something.

I'm finally able to say I am proud of myself. I feel I've done something in my life that's truly commendable lol and I'm proud! I'm going to just keep on chugging until I get where I need to be. I'm becoming the best me I can be because the world deserves to know her like I do! So in the meantime, I'd like to officially reintroduce you to me, Hannah!

Until next time,